Wellness

In my attempt to reach 100, wellness, of course, plays an important role. On my homepage, it is one of my categories, and if you click on it, you can see several subcategories, namely aging, fitness, food, health, mind, and environment. Here, I will share what I do to support or restore wellness. Some posts in the other categories will also touch on it, including how some things affect(ed) it.

What is Wellness?

I remember one of my professors asking us that question in class. Of course, the first suggestions voiced were physical health and fitness. Then, someone said wellness means living in a safe neighborhood and having enough to eat. Another student mentioned being financially stable. And yet another person said it might mean having friends and being free to live as one chooses. All those factors certainly contribute to wellness, which hints at it being much more than simply being fit and disease-free.

Merriam-Webster describes the meaning of wellness as “the quality or state of being in good health, especially as an actively sought goal”. If you google its meaning, you will find a variety of definitions, from self-actualization or achieving your full potential to being in a state of equilibrium physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually. All these descriptions give us a pretty good idea of what wellness means. Although, how each of us perceives it and what contributes to it for us individually varies.

Wellness – It’s Personal

When I finally graduated, my sons were mostly out on their own. I had arrived at a crossroads: the only thing I was sure of was that after these years of toil, I wanted to be done with just pushing through every day. I wanted to live!

I realized for that to happen, I had to start over. For me, starting over meant leaving behind bad memories and the places associated with them. So, I hauled my belongings into storage, packed up my car, and headed west to live and work on a dude ranch in Wyoming.

The prospect of a new life was exciting but also scary, even though I had moved across the country repeatedly over the previous twenty years as an army wife. This was different. I was doing it alone, and I was doing it for me. That was in 2013. That one chance I took completely changed my life. The years that followed turned into a journey of self-discovery that morphed me into a different person, a person who tries to prioritize whatever helps with achieving wellness:

• spending time with my family and felines
• having peaceful, quality relationships with others
• putting myself first (not in a selfish kind of way)
• being physically active, eating real food, keeping my mind engaged and my stress level to a minimum
• being independent and free to do whatever, whenever
• living in a place I love
• spending time in nature 
• working in a low-stress job with an ideal work/life balance

I also try to incorporate smaller wellness boosts, like sitting under the Big Sky gazing at the clouds or stars, getting a massage, or reading a good book. These little things are just as important. And it can really be anything that contributes something positive to my day.

These ‘anythings’ have changed over the years. That happens as we get older, I found. Some things suddenly seem like a waste of time, while other things that I never found time for are now priorities, like reading and spending time in nature.

What Contributes to your Wellness?

Your list may look similar to or very different from mine. Maybe you don’t have a list. We often rush through the days doing what we think is expected of us or what we tell ourselves we have to do. I, like so many women, always took care of everyone else first. I had never really thought about what I needed. Sure, I did things for myself, but more often than not, I put myself last. That one chance I took in 2013 changed that. Now that I am older and wiser, I and my wellness come first. And so should yours.

You can start by writing down anything that makes you feel good physically, mentally, or emotionally. Then, organize this list into majors and minors. Finally, prioritize the items on your list by importance and do-ability. Some you may not be able to do right away, but you can work towards them. Writing them out makes them more tangible. Having them on your radar creates focus and can help bring them to you.

Bumps in the Road to Wellness

You may be thinking, “Easier said than done.” Maybe you don’t know how to start. Or you may have children who still live at home that keep you on your toes, or you work endless hours in a job you hate but can’t give up right now because you need health insurance. Where would you even squeeze out time for yourself? After all, you have an endless to-do list already. I get it! I’ve been there.

While I was working in that soul-sucking job to make ends meet, going to school, and trying hard to be a good mom, I felt like I was in a never-ending tunnel with no light at the end. But quitting was not an option. The money was good, and I needed it more than ever after my son, who was about to start college, was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

He needed my help. Insulin and diabetic supplies are expensive. But besides the additional financial burden, it also required a large chunk of my time, especially in the beginning since there was a huge learning curve. So, every day, I summoned all my mental strength and pushed on, always keeping my goal of eventually living a healthful lifestyle in mind. Yes, I thought… eventually.

I didn’t know then what I know now: even small steps to build or restore wellness can make a difference. For a long time, my mindset was to just plow through hardships and then focus on taking care of myself. But since we often don’t know how long difficult times will last, this is not the best approach. I am sure those years of putting myself on the back burner have left their mark. Thankfully, it is never too late to start taking care of yourself. 

So, take a look at that list you came up with. Pick one or two items. It could be as small as taking a 15-minute walk twice a week or replacing an unhealthy snack with a healthy one. Then, incorporate what you have decided on for a month or so or until you feel it has become a habit. When it comes naturally, pick another item from your list. Keep doing this. Before long, you will have developed habits of caring for yourself. 

If you would like to try something more substantial timewise, like working out when you have never worked out before, see if there is something you currently do that you could replace. If not, you may find that you can only do a little here and there, but remember, anything is better than nothing. Scheduling time slots for yourself in your calendar like you would important appointments, can help you stick to your guns. Throughout life, our circumstances continually change. I always tried to guide them in the direction where I could devote just a bit more time to myself than before.

Either way, anything you pick should be something you want to do for yourself, something that makes your body, mind, or heart sing. It shouldn’t feel like another chore on your to-do list that you will stress over if you don’t get to it. You should be excited about it or about the results it will bring. It should spell wellness for you.

When Wellness Slips Away…

You may think that with all I am doing or trying to do (things don’t always pan out as planned), I must be basking in wellness. And sometimes I do. But, like most worthwhile things in life, wellness takes a continuous effort. And occasionally, despite that effort, one of life’s many challenges can cause it to slowly slip away. 

More often than not, we can regroup and adjust pretty quickly. But sometimes, like when I lost one of my beloved cats unexpectedly, only time will get us back on track. Losing her utterly destroyed me. I paid no attention to what I ate. I didn’t exercise. I barely slept. It took me months to get to a point where I didn’t cry every day. When I finally started taking small steps back to what life was like before, I repeatedly fell off the wellness wagon because sadness yanked me to my knees.

Thankfully, traumatic events occur infrequently. Usually, we just try to get through everyday life challenges. Even these, though, can occasionally sideswipe us. I have learned that taking time to recover and regroup is necessary and that doing my best has to be enough. Of course, consistency is important in healthy habits, but stressing over occasional lapses doesn’t do your health any favors. Take it in stride and move on. Just don’t let those lapses turn into your habits.

Putting it All Together…

Wellness has many faces; figure out what it looks like to you and what will help you bring it about. Make a list to organize and prioritize. Then, slowly – slowly being the keyword – incorporate items from your list to gradually develop habits that support your wellness. 

Be sure to be honest with yourself, though. If you hate running, don’t choose it as your workout because it is the fitness trend of the year. When someone asks me what they should do to stay fit, I tell them to pick something they enjoy. My son hates running, but he loves hiking. He hikes hundreds of miles a year, and one can see the joy he carries in his heart on his face. Don’t force yourself to be miserable. You won’t last long. Remember that you are doing this for yourself. You choose. Don’t let outside influences choose for you. 

The same holds for nutrition. Don’t eat something just because it is the topic on every magazine cover. Although, I would like to add that one’s taste can change. These days, I wouldn’t touch some of the things I ate twenty years ago. Back then, I loved Beefaroni and Micro Magic Fries. Just the thought of putting those in my mouth makes me nauseous now that I mostly avoid processed food. And some foods I used to wrinkle my nose at are favorites now, like eggs and almond flour biscuits with chia jam. Yum! 

And it’s no different for keeping your mind sharp. My mom had the memory of a 25-year-old at the age of 81, right before she died. I firmly believe her lifelong love of crossword puzzles and ferocious reading (besides other healthy habits) contributed to her exceptional memory. So, being a lover of words, I decided one morning that I needed to do crossword puzzles. I quickly realized that I don’t have the patience for word puzzles. I don’t like them. To keep my mind sharp, I am going to stick with learning and reading.

100, Here I Come…